She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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