Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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