I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
