You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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