I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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