He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I got inside last night via doggy door
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
