I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm like, not good at living.
Randomize
