There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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