she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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