No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
