Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
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