4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
