ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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