Yo dont text me then not text me
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
