you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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