i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
