Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
