TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
