You can't special order awesome
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my sisters under your porch take her home
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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