No awkward lesbian experiences without me
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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