I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
