Christians are straight up FREAKS
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
