Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
