Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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