Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
