if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
