Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
