I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
