I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
