just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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