We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I would fuck him just for his dog
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
