I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
