Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
