Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I AM VODKA MAN
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
