We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
