Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
