Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
