I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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