Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
