This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
