You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I lost the right to judge tonight
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
