she kept yelling 'call me bella'
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
