Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
