Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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