Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Randomize
