There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
