i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
