new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
