Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
