he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
