Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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