i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
