Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
